The Monster Mash

Somebody asked me what its like to die once. How was I supposed to know. I died for like...a few seconds when I was 11 completley saturated with anesthetics on an operating table. The truth is...death feels like a lot of things. A Vampire would know.



You asked me what its like to die.
I didnt have an answer.

You attacked me horizontally
But probably just because of my cape.

So I grabbed your wrists
And felt your bank robbery suspense
And bit you like I bit
A few lovers before.

Tongue tied to a girl
whos got the dictionary between her legs
She says "Soon Ill let you go"
but she doesnt mean it.

No way.

Ive memorized A through Z
And she still says I cant spell.

I covered her mouth
But failed to keep
That noisy stream
Of bats from
Pouring out like a storm.

Must have been those little
Devils
That fogged up the windows.

Or the open bathroom door
after I kicked it in
and snatched you mid-shower

And plugged you into the electric socket.
We're like tangled Christmas lights
Bed Breaking.
Clothes throwing.
Lamp smashing Christmas lights.
Pressed against the wall.

Scandalous!
Eh, this isnt really my holiday

Halloween is.

I wish you
Would dress up in fishnets.
Or nothing.
Get "Undressed up"
for All Hallows Eve.
So my teeth would hurt
From gnawing on your shoulder bones.


I dont really watch TV.
(Not enough blood)
But,
If I hold your ankles really high
And spread them
Like glowing white antennae
Do you tune into the
"Oh My God Channel?"

Or...is that what the metal
from the Handcuffs is for?

I bought you a
Vibrating thong
"Modern m-ASS-terpeice"
Im a blood-sucker for
Catchy advertising
And retarded puns.

Double Whammy.

Ok.
Ill convert you.
And drink your blood.
Maybe do some creepy vampire shit.
Like....speak in a thick accent.


But really Im just interested
In kissing your inner thigh
Till you heat up in a
Red thong blaze
And explode
Like a Vegas stage act
And appear somewhere rediculous.
Like, hanging from the ceiling
Upside down.

We'll have to tie you up.
Or down.
Which-ever you prefer.
And Ill "Turn" you.
With one good bite.

By morning
Your tongue will become
A thirsty knife.
And then we'll blow out the candles.
And go to bed.

You can know what its like to die

Like watching the frozen lakes melt,
And realizing
They may never freeze over again
To connect me with the you,
And bridge my way home.

Like wishing you were the only person
Id ever spent the night converting.